Ready, Set, Science!

I finally got my invites! So if any of you want to Wave with me, just leave a comment.

Susana and I just got back from the Montreal Botanical Garden and Insectarium. We bought barbeque flavoured meal worm snacks and came up with a brilliant idea while eating them. We want to open a posh restaurant that serves insects in every dish. I'll go out and collect specimens, Susana will take care of administration, and if oneyebrowedbaby decides to go to culinary school after all, she can specialize in cooking insects and be the head chef. It will be awesome, and rich/famous people from all over the world will come to eat there.

Oh, and because you're curious: they taste like dirty rice chips, not barbeque.

This has been a busy week for University of Toronto campus, as it was hosting a parade of idiots.

Apparently the group outside Robarts on Tuesday was bunch of pro-life protesters. I'm glad I decided to cross the street and not get harassed.

Today outside Sid Smith, a mysterious couple of people were handing out free copies of "The Origin of Species". I was immediately skeptical. I'd previously heard about a group that was handing out the aforementioned copies, having added an introduction full of creationist propaganda. It turns out this was either the selfsame group or an affiliate of theirs, as they had the exact same copies, one of which my friend picked up out of sheer curiosity. I read a bunch of it before my evolutionary genetics lecture began.

They've pretty much mutilated one of the greatest scientific works of all time. They added a 50 page intro by none other than Ray Comfort (of banana-wielding fame). It starts off innocently enough with a history of Darwin's life, but about 10 pages in, its insidious nature shines through. "Irreducible complexity", "vestigial organs having purposes that have not yet been discovered" and "our DNA isn't very much like a chimp's (incorrectly referred to as a monkey) at all, it was all a mistake in the experiments!" are just a few of the ideas put forward by this ridiculous farce. It also uses the "evil by association" technique, quoting Mein Kampf four, count 'em, FOUR times. It also quote mines famous evolutionary biologists including Darwin, Dawkins and Gould, misrepresenting their views by taking their words out of context. At the very end, as Ray tells you that he fears for every single reader's soul individually, he basically tells you that you must be Christian. The analogy he uses is classic Ray Comfort idiocy.

The book tells you that you have a choice between the following:

1. Some big fancy prize I can't remember
2. The keys to a Lamborghini
3. A million dollars
4. A parachute

Then it tells you that one piece of information that will help you make your decision is that you are about to be pushed out of an airplane. Afterward, it lists the "four major religions"

1. Buddhism
2. Hinduism
3. Islam
4. Christianity

Can you guess which one is the correct answer?

.
.
.

If you guessed #4, you're a winner! Ray explains that all of humanity is poised on the brink of mortality and that in order to be saved, we must all accept the word of the True Lord into our hearts. Bullcrap! Also, how does this relate to Darwin's theory of evolution by natural selection? We're so far afield now that I forgot I was supposed to be reading a classic science text.

But that's not even the scary part. Most people aren't stupid enough to take Ray Comfort's shit seriously. The scary part is how they've abridged it. I have no idea what sort of selective editing they've done. All I know is that my copy of the Origin is 649 pages without the glossary, notes, etc. and theirs is about 250 pages, written in a similar font size. I'm sure most of the proper, important science has been lost along the way and that people will unwittingly be reading a volume which misrepresents Darwin's ideas. I wouldn't be surprised if they used one of the later editions, too, in which Darwin caved to social pressure and added "...by the Creator..." to the concluding paragraph.

Those are the words of a great scientist, Theodosius Dobzhansky, without whom our current view of evolutionary theory might not be as clear. I was searching Google for the exact place he first wrote it (an essay under the same name, apparently) because I wanted to use it to conclude an essay I am writing about the modern evolutionary synthesis, which unified all fields of biology.

Unfortunate (but not unexpected) results popped up when I searched. The third hit is an essay entitled "Does nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution?", written by some creationist crackpot and hosted on a website called the "Revolution Against Evolution". The fifth hit is a page entitled "Myth: Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution", written by a creationist who somehow managed to get a PhD and a teaching position at the Medical University of Ohio. It claims that evolution is a superfluous and unnecessary concept in the life sciences and "backs it up" by providing a list of high school and undergraduate textbooks in general life science and how "little" attention is paid to the theory of evolution (Only four chapters! Why, it's practically proof that God created every creature in their current form just 6000 years ago!). He doesn't list the hundreds of textbooks for more specialized courses which cover evolution as their sole topic, nor does he pay attention to just about anything else written by modern biologists. This article was hosted by a lovely site called The True Origin Archive: Exposing the Myth of Evolution.

I really shouldn't be allowed to Google such things when I'm writing. It only leads to an absolute absence of productivity while I read their ignorant statements in horror and subsequently look up the authors up on CreationWiki and daydream about how to ruin their miserable little existences. My current favourite idea is tying them to chairs and stapling their eyes open and mouths shut while they are forced to watch/listen to various educational materials on evolution, then once they've renounced creationism, making them repent for their sins against science by going door-to-door in the Bible belt and spending all the time necessary to explain to other creationists why they're blatantly wrong (as well as dismantling their websites).

Right, back to writing about brilliant population geneticists and how they gave us our modern conception of evolutionary theory...

I just got back from a live taping of the Rick Mercer Report at the CBC building on John St. It was entertaining, as usual. Oh, and Rick Mercer is really short. But you'd be surprised how many young, attractive people work at the CBC. The elevator guy was seriously hot.

If anyone wants RMR buttons, we have some extras.

So today before my "History of the Theory of Evolution" course I was treated to a hilarious account of the trials and tribulations of trying to toilet train your cat by my labmate David. Him and his roommate have been trying to teach their pet this new trick in an attempt to rid their apartment bathroom of a messy and unhygienic litter box. It was apparently going quite well until a week or so ago when the cat started rejecting the new waste receptacle and shitting all over the house in defiance for no apparent reason.

However, they are persevering, inspired by the success of the roommate's grandmother who trained her cat to use the toilet to such great success that it has actually learned to flush. The only downside to this is that the cat has come to love the sound of the flushing toilet, and will flush it over and over again for amusement at all hours of the day and night, leading to a rather elevated water bill.

So for a botany project on the family Combretaceae I had to find five monographs (and five periodicals and five websites) with at least one coming from each of the following time periods: pre-1900s, 1900-1950, 1950-1990 and post-1990. This took a lot more time than expected, especially as I had to hand in an annotated bibliography describing what each source had in terms of information and my search methods for finding sources (of which I had to have at least three different types for each set of resources).

Anyways, the most interesting thing I did for the project was make a viewing appointment for a first edition copy of Miscellaneous Botanical Works by Robert Brown (published 1866) at the Fisher Rare Book Library. This morning I got to the library bright and early, ready to read. After checking my bag and coat, I was permitted to enter the library reading room. It is on the first floor and is open ceilinged, so you can look up five or six floors at the shelves and shelves of old, beautiful books lining the walls. It was like something out of a dream. I sat there in silence and awe, turning the brittle, yellowed pages of a great botanist's work. It was the closest thing I've ever had to a spiritual experience.

It is an experience that everyone should have at least once. I urge you all to take advantage of your university library resources, and if you are at University of Toronto, to find a reason to do some of your research at Fisher. It is incredible and not to be missed.

Marion, I think you in particular will appreciate this blog, what with your recent fifties housewife kick. Vixen Vintage does a mean vintage fashion blog, updated multiple times a week with gorgeous photos. I am in love with her outfits, and you will be, too.

Have you ever noticed how fortune cookies never tell actual fortunes? Most of the time they're quotes misappropriated to Confucius or sappy flattery. For instance, tonight my "fortune" read:

Others are attracted to your endearing warmth.

Ha! Not only is it not a fortune, it's not even remotely true :P

My mother's: You have a charming smile and a full heart.
My father's: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Of the four cookies we got with our meal today, only one was an actual fortune. What I'd like to see are things like:

You will soon go on a thrilling adventure and rescue people from the jaws of death itself!

If you take a different route home this week, you will have an intriguing conversation.

Prepare for a zombie invasion in the next month and you will be victorious over the undead.

Take a risk tomorrow and receive great dividends.

Seriously, these things could at least try to be entertaining. At least something to make fun of - similar to horoscopes - would be nice. I'm sick of finishing a perfectly disgusting meal of American Chinese food and being disappointed by my fortune cookie.

So remember my Star Trek prof? Well, today in lecture we were talking about fungal interactions with plants and animals. One of the examples was, of course, animal dung and how many species of fungi colonize it, often in very specialized interactions. Mushrooms of the Psilocybes genus (a.k.a. magic mushrooms) are often coprophilic (a.k.a. shit loving). So she joked that people who like to take the mushrooms for their hallucinogenic properties are unwittingly eating cow patties. Mmmmm, cow dung tea....

I got to see Richard Dawkins give a sold-out presentation on his new book, The Greatest Show On Earth: The Evidence for Evolution, live at the Isabel Bader Theatre. I also got to purchase a copy of said book. I also got said book and my copy of The God Delusion signed by Richard Dawkins. I also talked to him about the stupid bill that was passed in Alberta allowing parents to pull their children out of school when evolution comes up in science class, which he had not previously been aware of.

Best. Day. Ever.

On Tuesday, I am going to see Richard Dawkins give a talk about his new book, The Greatest Show On Earth, which is all about the evidence for evolution and why creationists should throw in the towel. This talk is happening in one of the University of Toronto buildings. At the same time, I am supposed to be in another one of the buildings at the opposite end of campus for the first ever mentorship meeting for people in the Evolutionary Biology specialist program. Can you see the problem? Of course I'm going to see Dawkins (I've already got my ticket) but you think they could have scheduled things better. I wonder how many people are going to be no-shows due to the Dawkins talk.

Fall is the best time of year for shoe shopping, in my opinion. Unfortunately, I think it will be difficult to find vintage saddle shoes like these in stores:



Oh how I would love a pair like those!

So in my Introduction to Botany course on Wednesday night, my professor made a very interesting fashion choice. She wore a red, off-the-shoulder shirt over top of a somewhat high-necked black shirt. It looked like she had stepped out of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I was sitting there imagining that my lecture was being held on the USS Enterprise. It was awesome.

This year frosh week at University College was incredible; the best one I've ever attended. I was going on only 3-5 hours sleep per night for a week, but it was entirely worth it. I don't even have much of a voice right now due to cheering non-stop at full volume, but it was entirely worth it. I won't bore you with all the details of how my house did better than the bottom five (we got 2nd place and were so close to winning the house cup) or how cool all of the incoming students were. I will, however, point out two of the things that stick out most for me.

On the holiday Monday, we went out to raise money for Shinerama, an amazing organization that supports cystic fibrosis research. I always enjoy going out and raising awareness and money for CF, but this year I had the most touching experience. Standing at Bay and Bloor, being ignored by 90% of passersby, a man came up and started emptying all the change from his wallet into my donation box. I asked him if he wanted a sticker to wear, and he replied: "Actually, I have CF. I wear it every day." I nearly started to cry. It was an amazing day and as a group my college raised something like $10,000.

On the final day, we went to a Toronto Blue Jays game. York University was also there, and we started a cheer war with them that got so loud at some points that the game had to be halted. There was also a bible college on our other side, and they decided to cheer with us against York. They came up with some great stuff, and gave us a bunch of Pokemon cards, too. They would also cheer stuff like "Jesus loves UC". I suppose they didn't realize that we are a secular college...

Remember when I posted this entry? Well, for some reason the news didn't make a big deal out of it when the bill finally passed, so I didn't find out about it until recently:

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2009/06/02/alberta-human-rights-school-gay-education-law.html

I feel the need to repeat my previous statement. Fuck you, Dave Hancock. Fuck you, Alberta.

Oh, and for those looking for a laugh, just check out the Creation Museum's website. Specifically the awful Rick Mercer-style rant video they did:



I'm annoyed by how poorly the caller acted when criticizing the creationists, but the fact that they then tried to use it to show how "rational" they are being is just farcical. Not to mention that the guy doing the video shows just how AWFUL an understanding of evolution he has. I laughed until I cried watching him fuck up all the "science" he was trying to talk about. It was REALLY bad. That's not ignorance due to a lifetime of religious brainwashing - that's just plain old idiocy.

Life seems to be passing at a breakneck pace lately. These past few months have positively flown by. It is exciting and wonderful, having so many things to do, but also slightly terrifying. I feel like poor Alice being told by the Red Queen:

"Now, here you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"

Hopefully the school year brings some respite from this constant motion, as people leave the city, settle back into routine and refocus themselves.

Obligatory depressing story
The data I collected doing a field experiment last year is continuing to baffle both myself and my professor. In his words: "We've flogged this data set nearly to death. Pretty soon we're going to have to consider giving up on it." So there is a very good possibility that I won't be getting a publication any time soon.

On a related note
My brain is now thinking of everything within the context of general linear models. Doing statistical analysis for more than four hours at a time may be harmful to your mental health.

Breaking news!
It's official; I have a crush. I don't think I've had one of those since high school. If last night/this morning are at all indicative, those feelings are reciprocated.

This has been the news at 11. Thanks for tuning in, and we'll see you in the morning.

There is a nest filled with robin hatchlings in my neighbour's lilac tree. Three babies as far as I could tell using the binoculars. They're very funny to watch as momma and poppa robin come back from hunting worms to feed them. Baby robins generally leave the nest after about five days, and although I'm not sure when they hatched, they're getting pretty big now. I assume that they will leave the nest in the next day or two, and then I'll get to watch them try flying :)

So apparently nobody has any work to do today. I was just leaving the greenhouse after watering my plants (the only task I had to accomplish today) and I went out through the maintenance exit that very few people use (because it's more efficient). Opening the door to the stairwell, an amusing sight greeted me. One of the maintenance staff/caretakers, a middle-aged Chinese man who always says hello to me in the halls, is rocking back on a chair with his feet up on the stair railing, listening to music. He hears the door open and is startled, turns around to see it's just me and laughs.

He says: "Oh it's just you! You use this exit?"
I reply: "Yes, have a nice day."
He says: "Yeah, you too," smiles and puts his feet up and earbuds in again.

The many modes of procrastination :)

Yesterday the Toronto Steampunk Society went to Hamilton to visit the Steam and Technology Musuem, a national heritage site which was originally the waterworks for the city. It was incredible. We had a lovely young tour guide named Meg, who was even kind enough to let us take photos in a space that is likely normally restricted. The model engines, antiques, and old photographs were amazing enough, but then we entered the room containing the full-sized engines. I think I'm in love. These things were massive. The wheels alone were two stories tall and weighed 22 tonnes. They are still in working condition. One of them is now electrically powered for demonstration purposes, and the other is left unconnected so guests can move it with a metal pole that sticks into little holes all along the circumference of the wheel.

The building was meant to impress investors back in the Victorian era because Hamilton wanted to become the seat of Canadian industry and overtake Toronto as the most populous city in Ontario (ha!) even though it had only 20,000 people or so at the time. As such, the place is gorgeous. It is a monument to the power of industry. In fact, there are totally decorative and nonfunctional parts on the boilers and the ceiling is supported by Doric columns reminiscent of Greek architecture. The craftsmanship is incredible.

The best part, however, was talking about work safety in the 1800s. The only people who got safety equipment were the oilers. They had to oil essential parts once an hour when the engines were running and other parts once every four hours to once a day. There are 151 oiling sites on the engines and boilers. Their safety equipment consisted of a piece of brown paper, which they were expected to fashion into a boxy paper hat. This hat protected their scalp from getting burned by hot dripping oil coming off the moving parts of the engines. It also acted as an early warning system: if your head was under a moving part and you heard the paper crinkle, you had a split second to move your head before it was crushed. Surprisingly, there are no recorded fatalities in the entire span of the waterworks' operation

Here's a sneak preview of my wind-up girl costume piece. It's exciting!





There will be pictures of me wearing the entire costume after it makes it's debut at this weekend's Toronto Steampunk Society event in Hamilton.

So I went over to pretentiousgit's house today to say hello and inquire about cat sitting. This simple visit turned into a half hour brainstorm about how to incorporate a modified ratchet into my current steampunk costume: a wind-up girl outfit. Now it will be twice as complex, but twice as cool, because it will have SOUND EFFECTS. Inspiration spilling over from other people's projects into my own is good thing :)

Last night my dad rented that newish Nicolas Cage movie, Knowing, from the video store. Between it and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I've had the worst movie watching experience of my life in the past two weeks (barring the 1.5 hours I spent watching Swing Kids, which was excellent). It was so ludicrous, so overly dramatic and so, so STUPID that I couldn't help but laugh all the way through. I spent the entire time making fun of it. The quasi-religious-mostly-ridiculous-aliens-are-god message that made its way through the film and culminated in a Garden of Eden + cute bunny rabbits scene in the final minutes was just unfathomably bad. I don't know which was worse. Knowing certainly didn't have Megan Fox on a motorcycle (the highlight of Transformers) but it wasn't anywhere near as painfully long. Just don't see bad movies. Don't do it!

On Thursday night, oneyebrowedbaby and I went to see another Fringe Festival show with her friend Sarah. It was a rock musical called Nebraska and was based off the true story of two teenagers who fall in love in Nebraska in the '50s and go on a murderous rampage. It was an awesome show, and if it ever gets produced again outside of Fringe, I recommend all you Toronto dwellers go and see it.

But yet again, the Fringe seems to attract strange characters - and they aren't always human. Lisa and I got tickets an hour early and decided to wait somewhere close by for the line to start up. We sat down on the steps of a nearby church. Two squirrels were chasing each other on the roof, so I said to Lisa: "We'd better not sit here or I'll end up with squirrels on my head!"

We sat there anyways. A few minutes later, there's a loud noise and a flurry of black coloured movement beside me. One of the squirrels had been chased off the main roof and onto a small awning, from which it jumped to the ground (about 10 or 12 feet down) RIGHT BESIDE ME. No more than three feet away. It could easily have landed on my head if I had been sitting on the next step up or it had miscalculated the force necessary to make the jump. The other squirrel just sat on the roof, scratching its ear; that looked like it was waving at us, as if to say "Watch out, we're psychotic!"